A Chronicle to Myself

F*** This Day

2009-10-21T03:05:00.000-07:00

This is the worst day ever.

Today supposed to be my Intravenous Therapy seminar. Guess what? I blew it off. I came 30 minutes late for the three-day seminar.

I was confident that I will make it on time. Coming from Marikina, it usually takes me one and a half hours to make it in Makati Med. But as I saw the seemingly endless line of people in the shuttle ride, I knew I had to take another way. I took the FX to Cubao going to MRT. And guess what? More lines! It was so long that it stretched to the stairs of the MRT station. I had to take the bus.

And so I took the bus going to Ayala. 8:30 AM, I thought I would still make it. Then, my worst fears came true: I got stuck on a traffic jam. There was no way to pave the way, no miracles to save me.

When I got to the hospital, I rushed to the ninth floor. 9:30 AM in my watch. I spoke to the lecturer. She won't let me in. I tried to beg, telling her where I came from and the traffic and all that stuff. But she wasn't persuaded. She had me rescheduled.

I was crushed. This is the worst feeling ever, I have to say. I failed myself. Now I had to go back down to the hellish ER to work my ass off until the end of the shift.

What could possibly go wrong? I was placed in the critical area. They had three toxic patients. I was not in the condition to work. Actually, I didn't want to work. And I didn't care about the due medications, procedures and stuff. I just didn't gave a damn. I was really pissed off to the core.

I went home exhausted, angry, sad, depressed. I don't deserve this kind of day, really.

For three days I will toil, together with the stress of the area, the attitudes of the people, everything. And I thought this would be a great day because I'll be reunited with my direct-hired batch for three awesome days! Plus, the idea that I got delayed for IVT is just humiliating.

I feel like not going to work tomorrow. I wish the storm would just wreck the roads again until it becomes unpassable. I wish bad karma for that inconsiderate lecturer who didn't let me in. I wish all the damn people in the ER would go to hell ASAP. Bitterness. This is a fucking day.

Consumed by Work

2009-10-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

I think I've been consumed by my work. Every single day I had to worry what area will I be placed, how many patients will there be, how many must be admitted, how many times will I go up and down to admit patients in different rooms and in different floors, how many...

I can't help but count it all. Every time I see the ER swelling up with patients in numbers, my brain feels like shutting down. Because in the ER, no one can afford to be slow. Everything must be lightning fast. Sometimes, we can't afford to even take a break, or a seat, nor a pee. From the time the orders are given, one must assume to know it in an instant. From the medications to the diagnostic procedures to the referrals. Time management is a talent one must have.

It sucks to think that I'm not yet good enough. I don't have a good short-term memory span. Because of that, I sometimes feel that most of my direct-hired batch mates are already ahead of me in terms of how much information and skills they know. I have a good preceptor (kinda like a CI) though. It's the learner who has the problem sometimes.

But I know I can function well. I'm not in the competition of who works fastest. I'm at my own pace. And I make sure my work is clean.

Every single day I am forced to deal with people and their attitudes. It often comes from the patients and relatives. But from what I witnessed, a great deal of it also comes from the colleagues and doctors. They would sometimes bring out issues from a personal note. Then suddenly you have no idea that you're being talked about. It really freaks me out that I can't trust anyone (and I actually don't). I do get paranoid sometimes (which is probably one of my innate features) and it pisses me off badly. But I've learned to wield a heart of steel.

I can't help but say that there is a seniority rule in the ER. Every hospital has it anyway. Trainees do all the dirty chores and vital signs monitoring, probees do the all oral and intramuscular medication administration, juniors do what probees do plus the IV drugs and fluids, seniors are in charge with admissions (although both probees and juniors can do it) and looks out for the trainees, probees and juniors, and lastly charge nurses monitor every activity in the ER and does not do patient care at all (most of the times). But every nurse is expected to carry out the doctor's orders depending in their proficiency level.

As a probee, I have been "intoxicated" by my seniors (which is sometimes really uneccessary because they just want to pick up on me) then get scolded at for being slow or not good with with certain things. It's all part of a day's work. I've learned to suck it up. Though it makes me feel bad about myself at least I always learn something.

I'll be a junior on December, that means I will be a regular working staff nurse in the ER which accounts for a new uniform. It's like our toga of probee hardships. After six months of being watched over by a preceptor, we are free to go our ways and work independently. That is plain scary. I could only think of the errors that I will commit when I work as a junior. This time, nobody will be there to catch me. And I'm not so good with troubleshooting either. I just hope I could handle these all.

There is just so much stress in a nurse's work. So much to handle, so many things at stake that even our lives are at line. To be honest, I'm growing tired of it's demands (plus the uneccesary stress that's always being added in the line of torture). Don't get me wrong though. Working can be really fun at times (like having celebrity patients, lots of bloopers, and when no patient comes at all). The after-work bonding is what that counts, when we share all our stories and just let the emotions out in the open.

I don't want to be consumed by work. I don't want to experience that feeling that even at your most vivid dreams you can see yourself still working. But that's all I got as for the moment. Well at least I am earning, but still... I finally understand the saying that one must work to live, not live to work. But what I know is that when works becomes a sucker, it means it's time to get out. I wonder when will it be soon for me...

An Update

2009-08-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

I've never blogged about anything for almost forever.

Well, to update me and my many, many followers, I have been working my ass off the ER of Makati Med. I've finally got used to it; the travel, the work and the people. Although my work is still limited since I'm still on probationary, my responsibilities are getting heavier.

Yesterday, I attended the training for safe medication practice. This training will give me the right to finally administer medications (except IV meds though because they will still require us another training for that.) From bed side care to paper works to carrying out the doctor's orders, the line of duties are building up.

Not to worry, though. I'm hoping I could handle the job.

I'm always drunk every weekend. It's almost a habit for us to hang out in a bar to get some drink and go home late. But I'm trying to wean myself out of the alcohol, seriously. I'm already getting financially shorthanded. Yet friends are forces hard to oppose.

This is quite a short update. To be honest, I'm quite tired of blogging the every-now-and-then details of my life. It's part of getting busy with work. And through this, I vindicate myself.

Conscious and Coherent but Weak and Ill-looking

2009-07-03T18:02:00.000-07:00

It's been two weeks since I began working in the ER. Although as probees we had limited task to do, we always had a lot of action.

The ER, as expected, is damn busy. It's like when a mall raised up a big time sale and everyone's just eager to grab stuff. The doctors, senior nurses and patients always have something to ask or request even if they know you don't know what to do. That's why I had to learn fast about the operations of the department. Luckily, I was able to learn a lot of things like charging procedures, medications and services, relaying diet at the diet department, endorsing patients (still not good at it though), and admitting patients (again, haven't really mastered it.) As usual, we are doing vital signs monitoring as well as urine input and output recording forever. At times, we can do procedures like removing IV insertions and administering medications as long as we are supervised. We do overtime most of the days because there are lots of things yet to be done.

Weekends are a blessing. That means party after a long week of hardworking. But not today, sadly. I've been sick these four days. I'm having cough and colds (and sometimes fever) and I m guessing I got this from one of my patients in the pediatric ward. This week was quite rough for me. I had a hard time pulling myself together. I look more like a patient than a nurse. And so this weekend is not a party, but more of a full bed rest.

I really, really hope I get better when I get back to work on Monday. I can't afford wearing protective mask all day long. It's suffocating!

Hello Emergency Department, Thank You H1N1!

2009-06-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

I got transferred from the standard nursing units to the emergency department. Sweet!

While having our orientation for the wards last Monday, seven of us were pulled out to have a talk with a nurse official. She said that the emergency department is in need of more nurses due to the pandemic A H1N1 influenza virus alert. Based on our interviews and areas of choice, we were the chosen ones to be added in the emergency team.

It has been three days since we left the ward and began at the ER, and boy it was lethally boring. All we did was read thick manuals, chat with ourselves and meet with the department head for a few minutes and back to the manuals. The ER was really busy that's why there's really no one who will attend to our orientation needs. That's quite understandable, but in my opinion, they shouldn't lock us up in a room with ourselves and have literally nothing to do.

So this is how our job works. For the first two weeks, we don't have anything to do but observe, see how things work in the ER, and probably assist in minor things like transporting patients. Then, for the first two months, we will be allowed to take vital signs and have our buddy nurses to teach us on hands-on work and paper works. During the third month, we will be attending seminars such as safe medication practice (to allow us to give oral and parenteral medications), intravenous therapy (because they wanted to teach us their own guidelines), wound care, safety and transferring, basic and advanced cardiac life support (again, based on their guidelines.) On the fourth month, we will be allowed to do CPR, give medications, administer oxygen therapy, suction and read basic ECG and ABG (basically all essential nursing skills.) On the fifth month, we can already insert IV on patients and perform ACLS. This lasts up to the sixth month. On the seventh month, we will be promoted as junior staff (and have new uniforms.)

Although the ER is a "toxic" place to be, I really promise to do my best. This shall be my new beginning!

First Week: Orientation Over

2009-06-19T04:11:00.000-07:00

At last, orientation is over. After two big time tardiness, one missed test and zero recitations, I was able to survive the boring lectures. I'm not proud of it though. But I just hate lectures, that's all. I need action!

The director of nursing gave us the areas which we will be deployed. Most of us were placed in the standard nursing units including me. The others were assigned in special units probably because they did well in the tests. Somehow, I knew I was going to be placed in the ward (although I'm still looting for the ER department.)

I made an oath to excel in my training work in the ward, a just compensation over my failures during the lecture days.

It's quite funny to see my friends disappointed that they didn't get the area of their choice. As for me, I'm really looking forward to it (especially the uniform with my name sewn on it.) This would be my very first hands-on work as a professional nurse. And come to think of it, I got directly hired by one of the country's premiere hospitals. I'm ready to get busy!

By the way, I found out an easier way to travel back home. There's a shuttle terminal just beside the Ayala MRT station, and it was there all along! Sweetness.

First Day

2009-06-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Orientation for the new staff nurses at the Makati Medical Center.

All I can say is that it was an utter boredom. I can barely recall what we discussed. All I care about is the pay and benefits we'll be getting hopefully by next month.

Apparently, there were only four of us from thy Alma mater. I have to say, it's quite embarrassing. We were outnumbered by another top performing school. I felt out of place. But outcast as we were, we manage to pull ourselves together. I just hope they're truly friendly.

I was already exhausted by the end of the lectures. Then we had the huge hospital tour which made my condition worse. My new set of eyes are straining from pain.

But that wasn't the highlight of my first day. What really made my day was the travel back home. My friend and I were looking for a shuttle ride direct at our places. We were assuming that it was somewhere near so we walked, and walked, and walked... In the middle of the night we were at the streets of Makati, scouring areas to find that shuttle terminal. Eventually, we gave up looking and just took a jeep going to MRT station.

At the MRT station, the sight was even worse. After buying the tickets, we tried lining up with the bunch of people. We kind of inserted oursleves in the middle trying not to be noticed. Fortunately, the guy behind me was kind enough to give way to us.

It took us three missed trains for us to get the painful ride. Yeah, it was painful. The train was literally so full that I almost got squished in the door pane. My organs were starting to flatten like pancakes. It was awful.

After a tumultuous traffic I was finally home in one flat piece. I am really tired and dizzed up. I'm just trying to squeeze out the remains of my energy typing this thing.

I Had LASIK Eye Surgery

2009-05-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

Laser-Assisted In Situ Keratomileusis also known as LASIK.

I had it yesterday.

My astigmatism and myopia was even worse than I thought. I had eye problems before way back when I was 10. The glasses come on and off through the years. I already had opinions from three doctors and they all have the same findings: 500+ astigmatism, 350+ myopic eye grade. The astigmatism can no longer be corrected by glasses.

I really do need the surgery. I cannot work well with a wavy vision (although it didn't bother me so much probably because I've gotten used to it.)

They had me screened last Friday. After a series of test, I was eligible for surgery the following day.

The following day? Wow. That was fast.

The surgery day came. I was nervous. This would be the very first surgery ever done to me. They had my clothes changed to scrub suits and surgical cap. They prepped my eyes with antibiotic and anesthetic drops. After wiping Betadine around my eyes, I was off to the OR. I could tell that they were quite in a hurry but they assured me that the surgery will only last 30 minutes.

Then, it was time. No sedation was required.

The nurse taped my eyes open then dropped some lubricant. The LASIK machine was on top of my head. The right eye was first. The doctor then placed a ring around the eyeball and pressed it. This was to hold the eyeball in place. They instructed me to look up and look down. I got tensed! The pressure was getting stronger as the ring got deeper into my eye socket. It was freaky I'm telling you. I was scratching the leather OR bed. They were telling me to relax but the pressure made my eye blind slowly. I was blind for a moment. Then, there was light. The light was blurry but I can see a metal instrument flapping the covering of my eye. My vision turned slightly better. The doctor instructed to look directly on a pointed red light. There were scattered green light on my vision however. That was the laser shooting my eye. I could smell the burned cornea which reminded me of my OR assists during the good old college days. I could hear one of the doctors mentioning numbers then shooting the laser. That would be the points where the cornea must be "shaped out". Then, it was done. They flushed NSS in my eye and placed the flapped layer back.

The next eye had the same exact procedure and experience, only that it was more painful when they placed the ring. I was already telling them about the pain. It feels like the whole skin around my eye was tearing apart. It wasn't a good feeling.

After about 20 minutes, the surgery was finished. Thank God I was able to survive that! I had to rest. Everything was a blur. I became sensitive to light as every glare made me cringe.

Three eye drops were given to me: an anti-inflammatory steroid, an antibiotic and a lubricant. After some post-op instructions, I was set to go home.

Tomorrow will be my first post-op check up. Although my vision is still quite blurred, I can already see the improvement.

In about a month, I can expect optimum eyesight. Hope it's 20/20 (or better.) Goodbye glasses!

Goodbye Training Program

2009-05-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

I said my farewell bids to the hospital training program this morning.

The supervisor already knew it beforehand. Good thing he's friends with my sister. I was able to say my sincerest thanks for the awesome time I had with the lecturers. I learned so much, which is why it's quite bittersweet to me that I'll be leaving so soon. But I have no choice. If I will pursue to continue, I'll be forced to leave every now and then. Better to say goodbye once and for all.

I will miss my co-trainees. I haven't thanked them personally for their birthday greetings. They were really kind, fun and energetic. I hope they do well in the training program, especially that they'll be starting to rotate in different areas on Monday. I hope they will all get absorbed.

And of course, I'm grateful for the opportunity that has been given to me. I owe it to my sister and the supervisor. If it wasn't to them, I won't be able to enter the hospital.

Back to the bum life, just for a while.

I Failed... So What?

2009-05-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

I failed the exam at SLMC-QC. It's quite embarrassing that I didn't took the exam seriously. Complacency is cancer.

I will try not to reason out but I didn't ate breakfast. I was hungry, really. My brain wasn't working efficiently. One for the foolishness.

It's a big smash to my ego. But I'm not that intelligent, I know that at least. Two for the humiliation.

I missed the training again. I should not have taken that exam. Now I'm forced to pull myself out from the training program. A graceful exit as I call it. I just have too many absences. It would be unfair to other trainees if I will not get any sanction given the fact that I was able to get in for training if not for the supervisor. I owe so much to him. And although my reasons for the absences were valid enough, it's not me who's going to have a tainted record. It's those people who referred me.

I made a wrong move and I'm so regretful. I shouldn't have missed the training if I only knew I would fail. I could have probably stayed in training a bit longer. But I won't get absorbed, that's for sure, so what's the use?

Come to think of it, I don't believe that they all checked our papers. They only looked on how many were we able to answer. I probably failed because of that. Out of 84 items, I was only able to answer up to 38. So I'm not an idiot. I wasn't just fast enough.

So what if I failed? I'm already hired at MMC! It's also one of the best hospitals in the country and my application there just took a breeze! Besides, if I did pass at SLMC, it would take eons for my training to begin and I have no choice but to start going at MMC.

SLMC isn't for me. Three for the record and it's time to move forward.

Happy Me-Day (Pancit Canton for My Birthday)

2009-05-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

I had fun with my birthday yesterday. It was more of a family reunion because my nephew's christening was also held on my birthday. Nonetheless, the celebration was a blast!

In the morning, I went to MMC to have my PPD skin test results checked and my medical clearance completed. I went straight off to home to catch up with the service.

The reception was at Shangri-La Cuisine at West Avenue. Great! I love Chinese food. Time to hork in! I met up with almost all of my cousins, uncles and aunts. I have missed them so much.

Then we went to TriNoma, the best mall on earth. It was one hell of a shopping spree for all of us! We were all grabbing stuffs, fitting clothes and swiping cards! Since most of my cousins are female, they went scattered all around the women's stuff while I parted ways with them alone. But it's alright though. I like malling around by myself.

We went home tired while carrying a lot of stuff. I haven't bought anything for myself for the last few months. It was a quite a relief. But what matters most is that I had a great time with the family. Although I really miss my friends, our hangouts and the alcohol, my birthday became worthwhile.

Thanks to all who greeted perosnally, via text message, phone call, facebook, friendster etc.! It is much appreciated!

Guess what I had for my birthday? Lucky Me Pancit Canton and cake!

Exhausting Medicals

2009-05-14T02:52:00.000-07:00

I skipped training again today to give way for my medical examinations and final submission of requirements at MMC. I'm feeling quite guilty for cutting off training twice.

I woke up early to finish the labs faster. And I thought it'll only last a breeze. Good thing I have my papers done (thanks to my doting mom) and I can now proceed directly to the clinics.

There were so many paper works involved. From filling up forms to each medical exams and lab requests to clearance from the doctors and other staff. I was rushing my way back and forth, up and down, etc. I was literally everywhere! Since I have a poor sense of direction, getting lost was not a problem. I had to go back to the information section and thereof. I've already memorized the whole MMC.

My first stop was at the corporate health care center where my vital signs were taken and some paper works written. Then PPD skin test and another set of paper works. I was obliged to go back on Saturday for the results. If the skin test turns out to be negative, I had to go back 21 days after for evaluation. If it's positive, the I don't have to go back for another skin test.

Then I had my physical exams. Since I have a not-so-perfect vision, I was referred to the ophthalmology department for further evaluation. I didn't go there though because no one was available. I had to go back tomorrow.

After physicals was blood works. They had to draw three small test tubes of blood from me. I think it's for CBC, hepatitis and HIV testing.

The next was the dreaded urine and stool sample. I had to go to their main laboratory (which is quite impressive I have to say) to "extract" these samples. Two urine samples needed. One for urinalysis and the other for drug testing. Apparently, they are very strict when it comes to urine samples. I'm not really used on peeing while someone is peeking but alas, it's a must. They might suspect that I put lemon juice with salt in the sample bottles.

I didn't have my stool "extracted" in the lab CR. I mean come on! There must be time and space (and privacy for crying out loud) allocated for that.

After eating lunch I went straight to the dental exams. One of my teeth needs a filling so I wasn't cleared out. The dentist was not available for filling so I need to get it done by tomorrow morning.

I knew I had to get the stool sample ready even if it takes shitting out of the sample bottle. I had no choice. Gross as it was, I somehow manage to "extract" it. No need to elaborate! I went off straight to the lab.

Then off the the HR. Lucky me I had my mom filled out some requirements so no need to line up for completion of requirements.

Suddenly, on our way home, I got a text message from SLMC-QC for my psychological exam. Too late SLMC, too late! But I still confirmed my psych exam on the 19th, just for the heck it.

I'm having a dilemna though. Could I afford to miss the training lecture tomorrow? It just feels so awful to fool my superiors. Yet it's essential to complete my medical examination. I don't know what to do, what to say next. I'm confused/frustrated again!

The New Beginning

2009-05-11T05:07:00.000-07:00

Today marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life as a working professional.

Well not exactly. I'm still under training.

And not that exactly either. I'll be ditching the training soon because I passed the interview at the Makati Medical Center. All I have to do now is to pass the remaining requirements and have my labs done and voila! Directly hired! It doesn't matter how far will I be from home. A one shuttle ride is all that it takes anyway.

My training began today. It started off with a lecture. Oh boy, I was dying of boredom. Everything was a lecture! Ugh... Then hospital tour.

Well that is what orientation is all about anyway. Although I have an exam tomorrow, I don't take it much seriously. You see, it's just a matter of a way better choice. But of course, I am being foolishly complacent about MMC hiring me. I can't help it though.

I found it hard to socialize with my fellow trainees. They seem to know each other well, I can't break through. Everyone seemed to be in groups. Probably because they all came from same schools or workplaces. I was a loner and I hated it. Unlike in MMC, me and my fellow applicants instantly clicked in. And even though we came from different schools, we just seem to have something in common (note: this is not a prejudice!) The social culture was just different. The best part is that I'm not alone! I'm with my fellow batchmates!

I'm not so excited about tomorrow. I have a choice though to attend or not to attend. It depends. I just hope I need to go somewhere to get a certain requirement needed at MMC. I haven't studied yet (what's the use anyway?)

This is so wrong. A new beginning must begin with a fresh feeling and sheer enthusiasm. But this isn't exactly the beginning I was looking forward to (ever since a better opportunity came.) As far as I'm concerned, my bum life is over.

Surprise Surprise!!!

2009-05-05T02:15:00.000-07:00

Another unbelievable experience!

I was getting ready for my training. I have already ironed my uniforms, bought new pairs of socks and polished my white shoes. I knew that anytime now I would receive a text message from the HR which will mark the beginning of the training program. And then, it happened....

I left my phone unattended upstairs (because I was so busy.) When I got my phone, there were three unread messages. I had in mind the message contains the schedule of the training program. Of course, that would be it.

I read the message. It was obviously from the HR. But something was different. It had a different name and an unusual text format. Scrolling down, I was shocked!

The text message was not for the training program. It was a schedule of an interview in Makati Medical Center (MMC.)

I could feel my eyes wanting to pop out of my head. Unbelievable! But I thought they were closed!

Then the landline phone rang. It was MMC again. They wanted to confirm if I could make it. Without any second thoughts, I said a resounding yes! I was the Yes Man yesterday!

I still couldn't believe it. I already gave up my application there. I thought it's no use waiting for something that wouldn't come. But it came!

God's plan is a definite puzzle. I just couldn't get it fit! First, He made me wait for eons. Then, He lead me to the hospital wherein it's technically illegal for me to work. Having passed the two exams and four gruesome interviews, I thought that it's the one. All I need to do is to be discreet about the I-have-a-sister-working-here thing. And then, just at the moment that I was getting my whole self ready... WOAH!

Yet again, I was riding the emotional roller coaster. I have to prepare for what's to come next!

Now, I got home just now from my panel interview. Whew! Glad it's over.

As much as I want to elaborate the whole thing, I couldn't seem to fully remember how it went.

I met an applicant on my way. Apparently, we were both lost. When I got there, the applicants were already filling a form. So I got one of those forms, filled it up and passed it.

There was one intriguing thing about the us applicants. We were all from top performing nursing schools. Finally! It paid off! But at the back of my mind, these applicants are probably the best newly nursing grads right now.

But I wasn't alone. There were three of us from my alma mater. One was my classmate and the other one was somewhat familiar. Come to think of it, there were only three applicants per school. I was glad I was not alone.

But I also made a few friends. They were really kind and I like them honestly.

The panel interview was conducted by three people whom I forgot their positions. We were separated into three groups with 5 members each. We were the second group to be panel-interviewed.

The interview was spine-chilling! I could feel the pins and needles rushing in my arms, limbs and jaw. I could barely move. And even though I was not the one being interviewed, I was the one getting nerve-wrecked!

When it was my turn already, the impulses started to kick in. I was talking and answering and all I had in mind was for it to be over. Ironically, they didn't asked anything clinical or nursing related to me. They only asked personal questions like family background, plans for the future and how can I uphold the standards of the institution.

MMC was directly hiring us. No more training (and no more P10,000 training fee!) If we pass, we will be on instant probationary. Wow. It was more than I expected (and probably more than I deserved.) They are directly hiring top notchers and students from top nursing schools. Proud but scared. I could just hope my brain for nursing isn't under recession.

Above all else, I am really happy.

Unbelievable Pacman

2009-05-02T23:47:00.000-07:00

Pacman versus Hitman. Even though the fight lasted only 2 rounds, it was just awesome.

I woke up early to catch the medical examinations. Like everybody else, I wanted to see the legendary fight. Though I was having problems with the crappy sample needed by the laboratory, I managed to finish all tests in just 20 minutes.

While on my way home, I kept on thinking how long would the fight last. I was assuming it would come down to the 9th round and a knockout by Manny.

At around 11:30 am, a newsflash from channel 2 appeared. Pacquiao wins, Hatton down by 2nd round.

Great. Talking about losing the excitement.

What's more frustrating was the legendary battle of the east and west ended in just 5 minutes. That's a lot crappier than my laboratory samples!

I couldn't wait any longer. I couldn't stand Martin Nievera's rendition of the Lupang Hinirang. Now that's total crappiness! The longest parade ever, Manny's song playing (come to think of it, I would rather hear him sing the anthem), the crowd cheering and chanting, those f***ing commercials... argh!

YouTube saved my life.

While mom and dad had no choice but to wait, I was already beginning to watch the fight. Of course they also had a peep at the monitor even though I was the only one who could hear the sounds.

Unbelievable Pacspeed.

His arms was just so fast and accurate. It's like time warp! Every punch he throws was like caefully measured. And however Hatton clings and jabs (and clings again for dear life), Manny was headstrong.

Unbelievable Pacpower.

I could never think of anyone who can survive a left throw jab from Manny. You can just see it in Hatton's face! Every punch Manny delivers was an electrocution. Hatton was shaken from the spine and throughout.

Unbelievable Pacrecord

Truly, Manny Pacquiao is the best fighter in the world. Enough said.

I was ecstatic. Eat your heart out you Britons! Paclipino is king!

Job Interview (Part 3)

2009-05-01T03:11:00.000-07:00

...

How do I explain how I feel...

Disbelief, repulsion, disgust, mortification, agony, torture, paranoia, suicide...

The text message was clear: an interview on the first of May at around 1:30 pm with the head of the nursing service office. Even on holidays they just can't seem to have enough of us applicants. Are they trying to squeeze out the very last drops of our spinal fluid?

I couldn't sleep right last night thinking of the upcoming interrogative persecution. What I'm fearing the most is that our little secret might come out in the open (click here). This is harder to contain than I thought.

And so the day came for the labor-less to labor on labor day. I went there 15 minutes late. They don't give a damn on punctuality anyway. As expected, the interview was late. It started at 2:15 pm. That's just nice.

My waiting nightmares came to life. Each applicant was interviewed for about 20 to 30 minutes and the best part was that we were 23 applicants on the line.

5 grueling hours of sheer torment. My sanity was starting to depart from the old noodle.

But there was a consolatory prize. The supervisor came and said we were all accepted in the training program and that the head of the NSO just wanted to talk to us for formality's sake.

I'M A BUM NO MORE.

I was called 7th to the last, great. I don't want to elaborate the talk. Instead, I'll just enumerate the situational questions she gave me to answer.

You are a newly hired nurse in this hospital. One of your colleagues thinks you are arrogant and that he/she despises you because of that. How would you approach the situation?
You were carrying a doctor's order but you got the order wrong. The doctor was so frustrated that he blurted out innapropriate words to you. How will you deal with the doctor?
You have a doctor who is your barkada. Suddenly, this doctor tried to harass one of the female staff nurses in the ward you are on duty at. The administration called for an investigation and you called as a witness. What will your statement be?
The doctor ordered 500 mg of Ampicillin q8h through IV. Explain what to do step by step.

It was quite a talk but it only lasted for 15 minutes. I can say that I gave out the right/ethical answers though she was leading me to the exact answer she was looking for (specifically on question number 4.)

I immediately went straight home, leaving the 5 others in line. I don't know them but soon I maybe able to since we're all part of the training batch.

Medical examinations will be held this Sunday. I just hope I'm healthy enough for the job. Training will start either on May 4, 6 or 11.

Job Interview (Part 2)

2009-04-28T02:45:00.000-07:00

Ans so I thought it was over.

I was in my cousin's birthday party. While we all were sinking our spirits in alcohol, I got a text message from the HR saying that I have a scheduled interview the next day at 1 pm and that I must bring my transcript of records (TOR.) I was forced to go home early.

The next day arrived (which is today, actually.) I was there perfectly on time. There were about 12 applicants waiting that soon became 21. I was with a crowd of total strangers again (except for a few familiar faces and one whom I got to know during the first interview.) While I thought that I was going to wait again for another 5 excruciating hours for my turn, I was called earlier than I expected.

Apparently, the interview is to be conducted by the hospital administrator. This one is big time. I was scared not because he's the man but because he might find out about a secret of mine.

This hospital I am rooting for is the hospital my sister is currently employed. (click here) The policy says that there can never be siblings or immediate family members working in the same institution. If we get caught, we are so dead.

How come I was not screened? I had some people who backed me up (that includes my doting sister) but don't get me wrong because I never, ever asked for their help. My sister was the one who did the wonders. I'm desperately in need of work and I cannot waste this opportunity. But this is one risky business we are in to. Not only am I the one at stake, but also those who backed me up.

And so it was my turn. This is how it went:

Me: Good afternoon, doc.
Doc: Have a seat.
Me: Thank you, doc.
Doc: Saan ka graduate?
Me: Sa *** po.
Doc: Kelan ka grumaduate?
Me: Noong March 18, 2008 po.
Doc: So 2008 grad ka?
Me: Opo doc.
Doc: Tell me what did you do after graduating?
Me: I had my basic life support and standard first aid training then I had my IVT training at Laguna together with the completion.
Doc: And after that?
Me: Nag-apply na po ako for work sa mga hospitals sa Manila.
Doc: Saan ka nag-apply?
Me: Sa SLMC, MMC, TMC... (F.Y.I. I had about 12 hospitals I tried for around the metro including this one.)
Doc: Ano nang nangyari sa applications mo doon?
Me: Well, sa SLMC na-meet na po nila yung quota for staff nurses. Sa MMC sarado rin sila. Sa TMC wala pa pong tawag.
Doc: So you started on big hospitals and you ended up in a small one.
Me: Well, doc, I chose na lang dito because it's a lot nearer to me.
Doc: Saan ka ba nakatira?
Me: Sa *** lang po.
Doc: (nods then checks my papers and exams) O, bakit mali ka dito? Ano ba ibig sabihin ng RICE?
Me: (surprised) Nursing intervention po yan sa fracture. It means rest, ice application, compression and elevation.
Doc: Pero bakit mali ka? Ipapacheck natin ito ulit. (checks the rest of my papers) Do you know someone here in the hospital?
Me: (gulp!) Meron po. Si *** classmate ko po sa *** (oh well, it's true)
Doc: San siya dito? Ano status niya?
Me: Ang alam ko po sa ICU. Volunteer po siya ata.
Doc: (called the HR) Meron ba tayong ***?
HR: Opo meron doc.
Doc: Sino siya? Saan siya? Ano status?
HR: Yung maputi po na medyo short. Sa ER po siya absorbed na po.
Doc: Absorbed na pala hindi niyo ako iniinform. Hindi nanaman nakakadaan sakin yang mga yan. (going back to me) How would you describe ***? Is he good?
Me: Yes doc he is good. Mas matalino po siya sakin. Mas mataas po ang board rating niya.
Doc: Sus board exams. Chambahan lang yun.
Me: (giggle) Chambahan lang po ba?
Doc: Oo chambahan lang yun. How about his character?
Me: He's of good character naman.
Doc: How about you?
Me: Well, I think I'm good. I can relate with everybody especially the patients. Madalas po akong mag-bedside care.
Doc: (nods) We don't want nurses na matatapang.
Me: (GULP! I think he knows me and my sister now!)
Doc: Anyway, that's all. You can go now.
Me: Thank you po doc and good afternoon.

The interview didn't sank in for a while. I was just happy it was done. Then I saw my sister as I stepped outside the room. That's when I became somewhat repulsive. We didn't spoke though because that would spread suspicion.

I can't help but think about those people whose jobs are at risk (and to think that these people have high positions in the hospital.) I don't know what came into the minds of these people knowing that their careers are at stake. It feels awful thinking of the would-be situation in such sense. What if I got accepted? How shall I manage to keep this little secret while some of the staff in the hospital know about this? I'm beginning to feel the burden of this naughty entry, like smuggled Jaguar whose fate relies in the hands of either the greedy or the righteous.

If they will not let me train that would be fine (or so I'm thinking.) But I know that I did very well in all of the screening process. Thanks for the experience. At least I proved something to myself.

Job Interview

2009-04-24T02:07:00.000-07:00

I survived the freaking exam (click here). And I just had my interview today.

The interview schedule was timed at around 9 am but the interview itself began 30 minutes late. There were 9 people when I arrived there. Then we doubled up to approximately 20 applicants.

I was alone. They were all strangers in the room. But it didn't bother me. I could use the waiting time to catch a nap for the sleep hours I missed last night.

Waiting was excruciating. What made it more painful was the anxiety over the interview. The power naps were terrible. I was sleeping like a baby: sleep for some moments and wake up crying then sleep again. It almost went unbearable as I wait for my name to be mentioned.

Lunch break came. The feeling was a strange mixture of anticipation and diarrhea. Why did I even came on time? If only I knew this would happen then I should had have my lunch at home instead of horking in in some fast food store (which I have to admit is quite delish.)

After eating and some mall strolling, I went back to the HR department 30 minutes earlier. I was the only in the room. The feeling of loneliness was slowly sinking on me.

I had to talk this out. There were only three of us remaining in the room. Luckily, the three of us had quite a conversation. They were June 2007 board passers. One of them recently resigned for his job at another hospital. The other was a former call center agent. I was the only June 2008 passer and the ultimate bum of all the applicants.

After 5 hours of waiting, my name was finally called for the initial interview by the supervisor of nurses. This is how it went:

Me: Good afternoon sir.
Supervisor: Good afternoon. Have a seat.
Me: (sat down)
Supervisor: So, tell me something about yourself and what you have done after passing the boards.
Me: Okay. My name is ***, I'm a graduate of ***. After passing the boards I had my basic life support and standard first aid training at the Philippine National Red Cross Quezon City Chapter. I've also underwent IVT training at San Pablo, Laguna. I'm now applying at different hospitals in Metro Manila.
Supervisor: How long is your travel time from home to hospital?
Me: Around 15 to 20 minutes.
Supervisor: Do you have an IVT card yet?
Me: Yes, I do have.
Supervisor: Okay. How would you compare graduates of famous schools from those of not-so-famous schools?
Me: (startled, confused, amused) Well, it's definitely an edge if you are a graduate of a known school but in my opinion, it all ends up to the student himself/herself. It is up to the student to gain the knowledge, skills and attitudes needed to be a good nurse. I think every nursing graduate is treated fairly when it comes to applying for work since, after all, we all passed the board exams.
Supervisor: You spoke about the knowledge, skills and attitude which is the cornerstone of the nursing practice. If you were to choose amongst the three, what do you think is the most important of all?
Me: I would say the attitude because without the right attitude you can never gain knowledge and you can never learn any skill.
Supervisor: Okay. Where do you want to work in this hospital?
Me: I would like to work either as an ICU nurse of ER nurse.
Supervisor: ICU and ER. For example, a patient confined in the ICU with mechanical ventilator but the machine kept on alarming. What will you do?
Me: First, you need to assess the patient and check for disconnected tubes.
Supervisor: What will you do with the tubes?
Me: I would have to connect it again. I must also check the chart for the right orders of the oxygen saturation and stuff.
Supervisor: Would you do suctioning?
Me: (suddenly I remembered) Yes, of course. I mean, it's probably the main reason why the machine keeps on alarming.
Supervisor: Okay. A patient was admitted at the ER with a tibial fracture. What would be your first intervention.
Me: RICE. Rest, ice application, compression and elevation.
Supervisor: What would you anticipate in the doctor's order?
Me: (think. blood test? because of the risk of pulmonary embolism? nahhh...) An X-ray to know the extent of the fracture.
Supervisor: Is it important to immobilize the patient?
Me: Yes. This is to avoid further damage to the affected limb.
Supervisor: Okay. After this interview you would have to wait for your second interview with the chief nurse. So the training is scheduled on May 4 and if you are eligible, you will get a call from the HR. We can only accept 20 trainees so good luck. Do you have any questions?
Me: How long will the training last?
Supervisor: The training is 3 months period and it has no fee and we do not provide allowances. After which if we have vacancy, we will absorb you for work.
Me: Okay.
Supervisor: You just have to wait outside for your second interview.
Me: Okay. Thank you.

Strange, I had the longest initial interview.

I had mixed emotions after the interview. What's up with the famous school question? The travel time from home to hospital? Nonetheless, I was glad the first one was over.

The second one with the chief nurse was more of a pep talk. It's basically the same questions regarding the mechanical ventilator. It didn't last long since she had a phone call to attend to. She was cool though, like I was chatting with a friend. I won't elaborate it here any further.

I made a few friends. Hopefully we can all surpass the application process and I'll be seeing them soon.

This might be it. At long last this might be the one. Though I didn't got what I want, I think I deserved this one.

Quizbox Personality Test

2009-04-17T19:36:00.000-07:00

I'm not really a fan of online quizzes but this one caught my attention for some reason. Check it out on http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx.

This is the result of my quiz:

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

To further summarize the results, I picked certain adjectives that I can say true to describe myself.

Intelligent - Yeah, that's why I know.
Honest - Sincerity in it's best.
Sweet - Who would have ever thought?
Friendly - Cliché, but of course!
Cheerful - That not everyone knows.
Open-minded - I should be...
Ready - Like a yellow sponge.
Serious - In many multifaceted ways.
Practical - Enough said.
Confident - Au contraire, not all the time.
Afraid - Of things I cannot control, true.
Unpredictable - Which explains the bipolar-like symptoms.

In general, all of which above are nonetheless the truth. That's why I got hooked up on this quiz.

My Great Application at SLMC-QC

2009-04-17T01:24:00.000-07:00

My mind is an emotional battlefield right now. I just wish I could puke this all off my system.

Apparently, SLMC-GC had already met their quota for male nursing applicants, just great.

I went again to SLMC-QC with my cousin. I had no choice because I had to try. This time I'm applying at QC. Apparently, the application at SLMC-QC is different from the still not open SLMC-GC.

Here are the requirements to be filed in a long brown envelope:

1 2x2 pic with white background
Resume
Photocopy of the following:

TOR
RLE
PRC License
Board Rating
Board Certificate
Certificate of General Weighted Average and School Ranking
Certificate of Previous Employment (if applicable)

We were directed to go to Annex II 5th floor. Although I once knew the areas by heart, it's quite an adventure going there and we had to ask for directions. There beside the staircase is a pigeon hole where we slid our envelopes under staff nurse.

I never thought of applying at SLMC-QC for I thought it's closed for hiring (and that I heard that the management of staff nurses there is not so good.) But what choice do I have?

I met my former classmates who are in the process of their application at SLMC-GC. Lucky them they have no balls (don't get me wrong because you know what I mean!)

After another sense of accomplishment and probably another disappointment cooking off, I immediately went home. I couldn't stand the heat, I couldn't bear the place and I had enough of the attitudes.

My Great Application at ARMMC

2009-04-16T01:37:00.000-07:00

I just got the news that SLMC will soon freeze its hiring of new trainees for Global City. Isn't that just great?

A long lost friend phoned me yesterday. She will be resigning from her call center work and now she's scouring for nursing jobs in hospitals. So I proposed her to meet me to try our luck in ARMMC.

Aside from being one of our school's affiliated hospital, ARMMC is fairly near to me. How come I did not tried applying there? Probably because of the idea of suffocating myself in a public tertiary hospital (although some areas improved quite a bit.) They are not hiring, but they do accept on-the-job trainees, basically what I was aiming for.

I was at the meeting place on time and as expected, my friends are fashionably late. While waiting for their arrival, I had a chance to chat with my former clinical instructor. She remembered me apparently. We talked about the usual stuff: school, work, students, etc. I couldn't believe how much I missed the old days.

Under the scorching heat of the sun, we finally met. After completing the requirements, we headed off to the nursing training office where we waited for some time before getting entertained. They checked the requirements. It seems that we lack some requirements. I needed to have a board certificate from the PRC (which I really did not bother getting because it's just a waste of money.)

PRC. Of all the places that I swore will never set foot ever. What could possibly go wrong? It's just the start of filing the requirements for the upcoming June 2009 board exams. Great, it's people power once again.

But I have no choice. Luckily, my long lost friend is willing to go with me.

Yet I am still very frustrated. Frustrated because my prayers weren't heard at all and nothing I do really worked. My grounds for hope sank deep into bitterness. I don't want to expect. It's just causing me undue strain. And as much as I don't want to look back, it just keeps on haunting me.

Carrying my Cross this Holy Week

2009-04-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

I remember this homily in a mass I attended to when I was nine. It's about two guys and their crosses.

Juan and Pedro were walking in desert carrying their huge crosses. They were looking for a certain oasis to replenish themselves. It was said that the oasis never dries up and can always provide anything you want. There is one condition though: you have to carry your cross all the way going there. Juan and Pedro did not know the reason for this luggage. Even so, they set foot and began the journey.

Eventually, Juan and Pedro became very exhausted. They could not bear carrying the cross any further. But Juan came up with a brilliant idea. He searched the desert for a sharp stone. When he found one, he immediately went to his cross and started sawing off the foot part of the cross, in half making it lighter to carry. Juan tried to convince Pedro to do the same thing to his cross. But Pedro was unshaken. Instead of cutting the cross, he just dragged it slowly in the sand.

While carrying his lighter cross, Juan began to went ahead of Pedro. Then, he thought that he could make the cross even lighter by cutting off the length the arms and head in halves. So he once again took his sharp stone and began cutting the cross. Now Juan's cross was so light he could carry it one handed. He was so proud of himself that he went off running to find the oasis.

Pedro, on the other hand, was still dragging his cross. He was tired but at moments he also rested. Whenever he can, he would carry the cross on his shoulders. It was a long and tiring journey for Pedro, but he did not complain.

After a very, very long journey, Pedro finally found the oasis. But something baffled him. He looked at his left and saw Juan, sitting in a stone with his mini cross beside him and looking afar at the oasis. Juan asked, "why are you just sitting there while the oasis is just a few steps away?" Pedro answered, "I cannot cross over the oasis. Just look at that pit!" Then Pedro looked forward beyond. There was a huge crater dividing the sands that seemed to have stretched from both ends of the desert. The pit was filled by a river of molten lava flowing heavily in a powerful stream.

It turned out that the cross was to be used as a bridge to the oasis. Juan cannot go over because he cut off short his cross making it too small to fit to serve as a bridge. Pedro tried helping Juan by crossing together but the cross was fit for only one person and that's only Pedro. Alas, Juan was stuck in the desert. So Pedro went through and crossed the pit through his cross immediately before it starts to burn. And so Pedro was able to get to the oasis where he was replenished forever.

It's funny that I still remembered this story. At an early age I understood what the priest was trying to tell us. It maybe because at a very young age, I was already feeling the weight of my own cross. To be honest, I did not ever understood my burdens in life. It was just there on my shoulders. And as I walk the journey, the cross got heavier, sometimes lighter. There was even a time that I got fed up with it. I did worse on my cross compared to what Pedro did. Instead of cutting off the cross into a smaller version, I just threw it off in the desert and went frolicking in life.

My journey went incredibly effortless. It's easy to just forget about all those burdens and go partying with life. But once I forgot my burdens, I also forgot my goals. I became confused and didn't know what I wanted. I didn't even know who I was! It was the greatest hangover in life. I was lost. I couldn't find myself.

So I was forced to look for it again. I found myself dumbfounded as it was easy to find my cross. It was a part of me all along. I took a good look at it. My cross has never changed. It's the same burdens I must take, the same challenges I must face, and the same rules I must follow. Then I thought, this is probably the reason for the intense weight of the cross. It slows me down so that I can view our own path. And when I drop it off, the cross locks me into place like a prisoner in chains attached to a ball of heavy metal.

I now look up on my cross this holy week. It's probably the perfect time to rest for a moment and to clean up unnecessary debris that has got into it along the journey. I have to admit, I still get pissed off by its weight up until now. It's like my cross is evolving from wood to metal, getting heavier and sturdier. Whenever it lightens, a new kind of weight is added onto it. But somehow along the way, I learned how to carry my cross more efficiently. And I learned that it's alright to seek help. After all, we are not alone in our endeavors. There is always help available anywhere at anytime. All we need to do is ask.

I know that carrying my cross will be worth the toil.

I'm Finished!

2009-03-28T01:15:00.000-07:00

I just got home from my examination and there is nothing to be exalted about it.

I was 5 minutes late for my exam but it haven't started yet. There were only 5 of us examinees which kind of baffled me.

I never thought that it would be so objective. I was expecting a multiple choice situational kind of exam, like that of boards. But it wasn't. It was all definition of terms, abbreviations and medications. I had trouble with the medication part wherein you are given the brand name and you are asked to give it's generic name and it's use/function. I don't know some of them. Same goes to the abbreviations part, though most of them I did know. To sum up the examination experience, it was quite a shock to all of us.

If you think that is it, wait until I tell you about the computations. All I can say is that it is plain dreadful. No calculators were allowed! There were so many items to answer and it includes all kinds of drug computation: from IV fluids to injected and oral medications to dopamine/dobutamine titration. Again, this is the second time around where I have to do computations without calculator in a qualifying exam. It was a horror and it's still haunting me!

I did finish most of the computations. I just have no idea if I did it all right. The last part was the Glasgow Coma Scale, which was pretty easy since I know it by heart.

The examinees and I were chatting during and after the exam. They have same sentiments as I have. Why was it so hard? Why weren't we allowed to use calculator? (And come to think of it, half of the exam were all computations.) We all struggled calculating decimals, fractions and huge numbers. Kaya nga ako nagnursing kasi ayoko ng math, my seatmate said. Unfortunately, we just can't escape the math of nursing. Then, another examinee said, volunteer lang inaapplyan natin bakit naman ganito kahirap?

Volunteer, that rang a bell. I was applying for volunteer work and it's not even counted as work at all if I try applying abroad. The examinees were from far flung areas of Manila, and they are applying only for a volunteer work. And I could just imagine how much we will toil as a volunteer nurses (based from my sister's experience.) All that hard work, all that humiliation, all that blame. Just for the sake of work.

The world is indeed cruel (or at least for the world of us newbie nurses of the Philippines.) We just have to suck it up. After all, I just need at least a year or two of work experience and I'm off this country!

I must pass that examination. I can't wait no longer in vain for those other hospitals that I've tried. And if I can't make it, I'm finished!

It's Just Friggin Argh!

2009-03-27T03:48:00.000-07:00

What an outrageous day! And I can't believe myself typing this blog despite of my aching head!

I finally decided my hair to cut off. But first, I stopped by the church to say a prayer regarding my qualifying exam tomorrow. I've been waiting for this for so long. May God not let me down.

I went to my dentist first to have my teeth cleaned. I haven't had my dental check up for years!

It was, well, bloody. I did expected that at some degree but I never would have imagined that it would be gross. It seemed like I was punched in the face. Not to mention the pain of the cleaning process. It felt like my gums were tearing apart. Woah. My teeth must have been that filthy. The whole procedure lasted about an hour. It felt good though after. It's nice to have a clean mouth!

But something did bother me after the cleaning. When I was paying the unusually high bill, her nurse asked me, nasaktan ka ba? And I just said yes, pero tolerable naman. But honestly, it was quite painful. Then, the nurse apologized, which made me think: bloody and painful? Could that dentist be a dental sadist? But I found her fun to talk with (of course that's when my mouth is free of her hands and her tools.) She was smiling and giggling all the time.

I think I'll never go back to her. She creeps me out! Oh well, at least my teeth are clean now.

Then, I was off to the salon. And this one is a funny/stupid story.

Stupid because I didn't know. Funny because it was only hair. I said to the hairdresser that I wanted my hair layered. While I was reading the magazine and my hair being done, I noticed that the assistant was already blowdrying my hair as if it was finished. I just looked in the mirror ans saw that it was still way long! And for crying out loud, I look like a girl! So I called the hairdresser and mentioned that I want it shorter. So she did, and it became shorter. I didn't inspect it that much in the mirror. I just somehow liked it in a view.

I went home. It just so happen that my parents were home too. When we finally met, they didn't like what they saw. Mom said it looked like a girls haircut. But then I already told the hairdresser to make it shorter. Then I took a peep in the mirror.

I can't explain how it looked like when it dried up. It was really gay! I had bangs that fell down to the brows, my side burns were long and twisted, and it was all layered at the top and back! I never thought it would turn that way when it dries up!

I was steaming mad. Mad at mom because it felt like she wants to dictate my life and how my hair must be done. Mad at myself for being ignorant. My temper rose sky high.

But of course, I was wrong. I was the one who had the mistake. I didn't really know what layered means so i tried to experiment. Turned out as a huge mistake. I tried to wet my hair, brush it upwards and make it stand but still, it was gay.

No more layers from now on!

Pissed off, I eventually went back again to the salon and had it redone. This time, I ordered her to spike my hair up. Thank God she's not a Sweeny Todd (like that creepy dentist a while ago!) They were kind enough to accomodate me without any additional pay.

I wasn't disapponted though it got really short. I wanted it somehow to an inch longer but it wasn't possible. Surprisingly, I looked more awesome after all the trimming! And it felt free that the hair was all gone.

I can't even explain how my day was. It's just friggin' argh!

Qualifying Examination

2009-03-25T20:58:00.000-07:00

It came as a surprise. I woke up late again for my review when I got a text message from the HR of the hospital where my sister is toiling. I was scheduled for the qualifying exam on Saturday, 2 pm. I have to be in smart casual clothes.

My prayers were heard! Hurray for progress!

Strange, though. Last night when I got bored scanning my Facebook account, something triggered in my mind. I suddenly had the urge to read my nursing books. So I went to my room, grabbed one of my reviewers and read. It felt like an impulse, like someone else is controlling my actions. But then, I just took the ride anyway.

Perhaps I was looking for some activity to change my static routine. Or it may be another omen. I've been receiving signs for I don't know what reason lateley. Whatever it is, it did good to me.

Now, I'm anxious for I fear failure. To be honest, I feel not so confident with my knowledge anymore. I've been living my life in sedentary isolation which might cause my brain to suffer knowledge stagnation. I've experienced failure once. I will never let that happen to me again.

So I'll be canceling all my plans for the day and tomorrow (as if I really have something to do on those days.) Mental preparation requires time and effort. Back to the old review days. I'll be scanning my books and notes again. I will dedicate those two and a half days on studying.

And finally, I have a valid reason to have my hair cut! I'll be having my dental prophylaxis afterwards. Wow! I must really want this!

On the other hand, it's not something I should be excited about. It is a training, yes. But on the latter part, it's only volunteer work. There is no assurance that I'll be abosrbed.

However, it's not something I should worry about for now. Besides, I've been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time and somehow, it came to me like a blessing.

At last! My big break is about to come! Thank you, God!

My Great Application at VRPMC and Nephrosystem

2009-03-19T00:22:00.000-07:00

It was an extremely lazy morning when I woke up. As we have agreed with my cousin, we flew off somewhere in Mandaluyong to pass the requirements in VRPMC and Nephrosystem (a dialysis center just beside VRPMC.) And as expected, we didn't made it in the time we planned to meet. 10:30 am and I was in Cubao-Araneta MRT station while she was just on her way. So I did some mall strolling while waiting. I already bought two magnetic cards to Shaw Boulevard when she text messaged me that we must go by bus. And so we did.

Our first stop was Nephrosystem. It was easy as pie. We just handed over our resume to some guy there. If qualified, we will undergo a three-month training. The training has no fee but no allowance. It's an eight-hour shift beginning 7am to 4pm. The area looks old but good enough to the least that it's not messy.

We then walked our way to VRPMC. It was lunch but we weren't hungry. We stopped by the chapel to pray and ended up attending a mass. It was the birthday of St. Joseph the carpenter, father of Jesus. I haven't attended a mass for quite some time so I did took advantage of the time.

There was nothing pie about the application there.

After the mass, we headed up to the Nursing Service Office where we were directed to go the the human resources department at the basement. We got ready of our envelopes and passed it to the HRD girl there. And then, she explained:

Our requirements for staff nurses is that first you must have at least trained for IVT. Second, you must possess a board rating of 80% or above. As of now, we prioritize the graduates of our school. After which, we will entertain graduates of other schools.

This is what I'm saying at the back of my mind:

IVT, check. Board rating, check. Graduate of your school... err... you have a school?

In pure honesty and innocence, I didn't know they have a school. My mom knows the hospital very well because it's where she had her ovarian cyst excised. It was behind the hospital building. And I applaud them that they prioritize their own.

Of all the hospitals I've applied into, this has probably the most number of requirements and the most demanding of all. Just check out their requirements:

Comprehensive Resume
Two (2) 1x1 colored picture
SSS number
TIN number
Latest Residence Certificate
Updated Police / NBI clearance
Five Character References (with complete address and phone number)
Photocopy of the following bearing the words, “Certified True Copy of the Original”, with School Seal or Notary Seal
Diploma
Transcript of Records
Certificate of Good Moral Character
Birth Certificate
Certificate of Employment from previous employer
Certificate/s of Seminars Attended
Board Rating
PRC ID or Certificate from PRC
Clinical Experience

It was definitely a headache. Nevertheless, we submitted our envelopes although it lacked some of the requirements.

We finally ended our short trip. We were suppose to go to Katipunan to have ourselves hammered with some beer but I decided not to since I just got into mass and I don't like my conscience bothering me. So I went immediately straight home.

Strange Omen

2009-03-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

There is always something strange happening to the weather whenever I leave the house. Every time I go out or even plan to go out, rain pours down from the sky. I know it's sounds like an old 90's sesame street sitcom but it has been happening to me for quite some time now. I would normally take it as a joke. But now, it has really become odd.

Last night, my cousin and I agreed to apply in a hospital and in a dialysis center somewhere in Mandaluyong. I was about to sleep when she text messaged me she calling it off. She has priorities of her own that I never did mind. She suggested that we go for Thursday but I'm not sure if i can make it since I have my review.

So I slept with uncertainty over the plan. But then I decided not to push through. I don't want to get lost.

Then, it happened. I woke up in the morning shivering with cold. I turned off the ceiling fan. Suddenly, the cold air and the familiar noises outside the window made me aware of something: it was raining!

It was weird but I've gotten used to it. But as I woke up, it scared the hell out of me. It wasn't a joke or a matter of coincidence anymore. I was thinking it was more of a sign of something impending.

I tried to analyze my past trips and I did found out that it did rain on those days I was out of the house. And even if I wasn't able to go out, just the thought of planning a trip outside would make the sky sprinkle some drizzles that turn out to be heavy rains in the next day or so. Most of the times, rain pours down before I've gone out. Sometimes, it pours down when I'm on my way home.

What made me say this conclusion is the fact that whenever I have to stay indoors with no plans of going out or anything, there is no rain, not even a trace of it from the sky.

Thus, I have come to such funny and weird conclusion. It's crazy stuff indeed! But to be honest, it did quite scared the hell out of me.

Should I put meaning on this seemingly normal phenomenon? I really don't know. It might be an omen of some sort.

My Great Application at TMC / MMC Closed for Applicants

2009-03-09T01:44:00.000-07:00

It's official: MMC is closed for applicants. They already taped closed the opening of the drop box. They halted the submission since March 5. No idea when they'll resume it.

I'm disappointed for my cousin. She was really looking forward to passing her bulk of requirements. What a waste of time and energy. Does that mean I should be lucky to have it passed earlier? Probably. But who knows if they also ceased processing those of us remaining applicants?

I suppose the closing was due to the release of results of the November boards. Perhaps the nursing service office is trying to avoid the hoard of applicants that will soon be coming. Besides, there are still a lot of us June passers in the line.

After the long, exhausting trip, after all the photocopying, printing, and even more photocopying, and after all the money we wasted for all of these, we ended up losing a big shot.

Not to give up yet, we set out ourselves to TMC. Ahhh TMC... The last time I went to their HRD it was mounted by tons of envelopes. Now, it's pretty empty. They have developed a new system to manage applicants. No more papers, no more envelopes. Just you and your fingers in the keyboard of a computer at the department.

We arrived at TMC at around 11:30 am but we weren't entertained. It was their lunch break. Now that's an early lunch. And so we did ate first. After like a thousand rides in the elevator and countless steps up and down the stairwell, we finally found the canteen. Then, we waited (my expertise.) We then went down the HRD and waited some more (I'm getting the hang of it anyway.) The area was steaming hot, I have to tell you. Bring a jug of water or a fan. Better yet, bring a face mask and a tank of oxygen with humidifier.

All you have to do is to hand over the PRC license to the HR guy there. Be sure though that you memorized your license number, it's needed for the encoding. Then, you go to the direction the guy will be directing you. And then, you wait again for your turn to encode your own data in the MS excel. Only one PC is there so you have to wait in turns. The keyboard was terrible too. So make sure you press the keys hard enough for the letters to appear.

There were applicants in the department up for their final interview. As I was waiting, I couldn't help but think if I'm going to be like them too, wearing formal clothes while waiting for the interviewer. It is a possibility. I'll just have to wait for an eon to end. Who knows? They might contact me via my hologram-enabled cellphone.

Here are the infos needed, as far as I can remember.

Name
Contact Numbers
Mailing Address
School Graduated From
Degree
Board Rating
Are you previously employed? (yes or no)
PRC License Number and Expiration Date

There is no assurance that you will be called (or I just didn't asked.)

And then my cousin was off to SLMC (wherein I already gave up) to follow up her application. As for me, home is the place to be. And even though the whole experience wore me out, it was worth it rather than doing nothing.

Farewell, Kiko

2009-03-07T02:48:00.001-08:00

I couldn't sleep last night. 4:30 am and still I kept on puckering myself in bed. But I did get into slumber. Ended up late for my review.

It was an incredibly hot afternoon, as if the world was being preheated in a microwave. The scorching heat plus the unbearable boredom just ruined my day.

Yet, everyone is all eyes on the news about Francis Magalona's untimely passing. I actually heard the news beforehand and it was confirmed on TV.

The mood was just gloomy as everyone mourns for the king of rap's death. I consider myself as a fan as his songs kept me singing during my childhood days. My favorite was Kaleidoscope World. Such an inspiring song it is. He was a legend indeed. A witty, nationalistic singer and song writer, Francis M will surely be missed.

God's time is definitely unpredictable. But only He knows what is right for each and everyone of us.

The happy battle is over and you fought well. Rest now, Francis Magalona.

Kaleidoscope World - Francis M

Much Needed Refreshments

2009-03-06T04:08:00.000-08:00

It's time for me to make a clean break on what I've been doing lately (not this blog, though.) Now I really have to admit that I've been wasting my time in this waiting for what is or is not coming.

Now, where to begin...

I'll be meeting my cousin who recently resigned from her managerial work and now has decided to put her degree into practice. I'll be joining her hunt for jobs in various hospitals and I'll probably haunt some too. We'll start off in major hospitals and then we'll go to near ones after.

I have to try, wherever this is headed to. This time, I will be looting for those who offer immediate training or at least sooner than those I applied.

(What am I talking about? I have to be kidding myself!)

Recuperating from this ill state of mind is honestly quite difficult. There might be some denial in my part and for that, I must look at the situation in a different angle. I'm positive on two prospects that has got me waiting for quite some time now. However, my patience is constantly tested. Even the pessimist that I am, I cannot afford to lose hope. While I cannot delve into things unknown and uncontrollable, I can always use the time given to me productively. Guess this means I'm off to another venture.

God knows how bad I want this. He knows the reason why I'm still waiting patiently. His trial is good and I'm on to His will. He may not present me with what I want but I'm sure what He has for me will be the sweetest. But for now, full fruition must take place before the crop is to be gathered.

A Calling from a Call Center

2009-03-05T05:45:00.000-08:00

Last week, a call from a BPO company had me baffled. It was allegedly referred by the registrar of the university I went into. I asked some of my college friends about this and some of them did received a similar call.

First of all, I don't believe it was from my school. I may be jobless but, for crying out loud, I am a nurse! If the school is to refer us to an opportunity, then it better be one that fits us. And to think that the school has been boasting itself as one of the top performing in board exams passing rates, there is absolutely no way that the referral came from them.

And then, just now, I got a call from a call center company (he didn't say he was from a call center company but I have a feeling that he is) offering me a part-time job that has a flexible schedule and that I can work anytime I want to. I have no idea where he (or they) got my information but he kept on confirming that I was a graduate of my high school.

I wonder where do they pull out these information? Better yet, why are they using schools for luring their prey? Oh well, that's business.

Tempting as it was (yes, being stuck for almost a year of joblessness, I was tempted), I had to weigh my motives. There is nothing wrong with me entering a call center job. It's just that I end up asking myself "why only now?" And even though I despise the job, I have something to do and earn from at the very least. Yet, I feel like I wasted my time from all of these waiting. Is this something I should regret? Did I made a wrong decision? Now I'm feeling awful.

There are many of us in the same note. We just differ on how we sang the tunes. After the many BPO companies I had let down in the past, I am, again, considering the offer.

My happy days of excursions are way long gone. Waiting has been a torture indeed. I'm still optimistic though but I must ensure a plan B in case my plans get screwed up.

Rant a Prayer

2009-03-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

It's 6:45 am and I'm unusually up today. Like I said, I was supposed to go to MMC with some friends. Unfortunately, yung sasamahan ko ay kinulang ng requirement.

I said a prayer last night explaining my current status in life, and it turned out to be more of a rant rather than a prayer.

I can't help it though. I asked why is it that I wasn't given the opportunity like those others I know who already got jobs. I honestly told Him that I'm losing patience. In fact, I may already have. I asked Him if there is something wrong with me, why isn't luck in my side, why do I keep making the same mistakes, why hasn't anyone called, why is this taking so long, why is this happening to me, why, why, why, why, why!

I told you it was a rant. I felt childish asking (or ranting) these questions. I was even demanding for a straight forward answer from Him. And it all felt like I was just talking to myself.

For once, I did felt His presence via a text message from a distant friend (who is unlikely to message me or anything) who wanted to go with me in this desperate endeavor. I did not know the meaning of this (or is it just me trying to put meaning in this so-called "divine manifestation [pardon me]") but I did got a conclusion that I wasn't alone. I knew that already but I didn't know how vast it was.

Perhaps I might be a control freak. I may be the type who is persistent and unrelenting but I can be stubborn, wanting things to go as planned. It's the only way I know but, actually, there are still a lot of options. It's just me who refuses to bend over these alternatives.

It felt good after the prayer (ranting) though I still don't know what to do. I also didn't get a direct answer and I still have zero calls on the line. Of course I know that God doesn't work that way (in fact, no one knows.) Perhaps I'll just be letting the days unfold again. But I feel good now, at least better than yesterday.

God is such a good psychiatrist. I'll make sure I'll be seeing Him in therapy again.

Dunno What to Do

2009-03-02T22:01:00.000-08:00

Wala nanaman akong magawa. I still haven't got my hair cut and I'm still waiting in ill desperation for a call. Tomorrow I'll be off to MMC again just to accompany some friends who want to pass their requirements there too. I'm thinking about dropping mine for the third time around. After that, we'll be heading to TMC. I haven't gone applying there. Might as well try.

Waiting is excruciating. My hopes are crushed every single day that passes by. I feel useless, as if they didn't want me. Or perhaps I just set my goals too high. It's true that I'm going for those huge hospitals with reputable names but I've also tried those around here (choosy pa rin kasi mangilan-ilan lang ang may magandang health care standards.)

I feel foolish sometimes that up until now I'm still stuck in this situation. I mean I could have done other jobs that I really don't like. Then there are those friends of mine who got lucky and now having their training in various hospitals. I really wish I was that lucky. Yet there are still many of us in the same position as I have.

On the other hand, maybe I should consider myself lucky too. I'm positive that I will get a call from the hospital my sister is working at. It's a nice hospital when it comes to infrastructures and facilities. Although there are tons of issues about their system, nontheless, I believe it can provide me a good training.

It has been a emotional rollercoaster ride to me, all of these expectations and disappointments. And it's driving me nuts! I don't know what to do or what to expect! I have never been fed up with my life before! Alas, I can't do anything.

Sometimes I give myself the creeps.
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.
It all keeps adding up,
I think I'm cracking up!
Am I just paranoid,
Or I'm just stoned?

Basket Case - Green Day

Mga Kwentong Ospital ni Ate

2009-02-28T20:01:00.000-08:00

Last night, napuyat ako sa mga kwento ni ate during nung meeting nila sa ospital. Late na siyang nakauwi dahil sa sa isang incident report na kinasangkutan ng pharmacy ng ospital.

Nagsimula ito ng may isang pasyente na nagreklamo sa nurse's station na ang ibinigay nilang eye drops ay 3 months expired na. Nagkataon nga lang na ang nasabing pasyente ay isa ring registered nurse. Trabaho ng nurse na tignan kung ang gamot ay expired na. Kaya naman lahat ng senior nurses sa buong ospital ay pinagawa ng IR.

Ngunit sa kabila nito, pharmacy pa rin ang may sala. Sa kanila nakaatang ang responsibilidad ng regular checking ng lahat ng gamot. Ngunit trabaho pa rin ng nurse na i-check ang expiration date ng mga ito. Pero dahil na rin sa katoxican nila, wala na rin silang panahon na i-check pa lahat ng gamot ng bawat pasyente.

Kaya walang magawa ang pharmacy kundi hakutin lahat ng gamot nila.

Ngunit hindi lang iyon ang isyu sa ospital na iyon. Naroroon din ang mga kwento ng mga tamad-na-mayabang-pa na mga doktor at pati na probees (take note: probees pa lang yan.)

Case 1: Isang doktor sa ER na nakita ang pasyente na nagle-Levine's sign.

Doctor: Anong nangyari?
Patient: Masakit ang dibdib ko!
Doctor: Ah ganoon ho ba...

Sabay himas-himas sa braso ng patient at sulat kaagad ng order sa chart. Ang galing naman niyang mag-assess! Binasa ng nurse ang order at hindi ito makapaniwala sa taas ng doses ng mga gamot. Buti na lang at matalino si nurse at tinawagan ang attending physician niya na maraing tumutol sa mga order ng doktor.

Case 2: Isa nanamang doktor na nagviolent reaction dahil hindi siya ginreet.

May isang probee na nagmamadaling naglalakad sa hallway habang binabasa ang chart. On the opposite side ay ang doktor na may kasamang dalawang janitor. Nang magkasalubong na si nurse at si doc, nagsisisigaw si doc:

Doctor: Sino yan?!? Probee ba yan?!? Hindi yan magiging regular!!! Tandaan niyo yan hindi ko yan ipaparegular!!!

Nagkataon na si doc ay isa sa mga stock holder ng ospital. Head pa siya ng pharmacy na nagsabi na regular nilang chinecheck ang mga gamot sa pharmacy. Ang galing galing.

Case 3: Parehong doktor sa case 2. Nakita niya na hindi na-carry out ang order niya ng probee.

Doctor: Sino ang nurse nito?!? Hindi cinarry out ang CBC!! Sino ito?!?

Hinanap sa chart ang pangalan ng nurse. Nang makita niya ito, huminga na lang malalim at umalis na lang. Alam niyo kung bakit? Ang nasabing probee ay kanya palang pamangkin.

Case 4: Isang doktor (actually marami din) na nakamiss ng dose sa pasyente niya ng gamot. Hindi kinaya ng pride ng doktor kaya sinisi sa nurse ang kasalanan.

Sa ospital, ang rule ay kung sino ang magbibigay ng gamot, siya ang magpeprepare. Nakalagay sa chart ng pasyente, "meds to be given by ROD, not NOD." Kung doktor ang magbibigay, malamang siya rin ang magpeprepare. Hindi dumating ang doktor. Tinawagan ito ng nurse upang siya ay pumunta para magprepare at magbigay. Ngunit namiss na ang dose. After a few days, may sumugod sa nurse na ibang doktor.

Doctor: Ikaw ba si Ella?
Nurse: Opo, ako po.
Doctor: Ikaw ba yung nurse na nag-utos sa doktor na magprepare ng meds?
Nurse: Eh yun po ang protocol diba?
Doctor: How dare you! Doktor inuutusan mo? I will make sure makakarating ito sa department.
Nurse: Kung gusto niyo po gumawa tayo ng IR.

At nakarating nga ito sa head department. Pagkarating doon ay nakita ni nurse na kataka-takang umiiyak ang doktor na sumugod sa kanya. Bakit siya umiiyak? Nabastos daw siya.

Sa pulong ay sinabi ng head department, "We had cases before wherein doctors and nurses are in dispute. This is unhealthy for the institution. In the end, it is the patient that suffers. We will make a follow up and investigate this case."

In the end, walang nakuhang IR o record ang nurse. Hindi ko lang alam kung ano na ang nangyari sa doktor na nanugod at doon sa dapat magbibigay ng due medication.

For added information, yung doktor na sumugod sa nurse ay siya ring doktor sa case 1.

Case 5: Mga probee na tamad at walang ethics.

Dinidiscuss ni senior nurse sa mga probee ang mga procedures sa paghahandle ng pasyente nilang may BFC (benign febrile convulsion.) Habang nagsasalita, ang dalawang probee ay walang ginawa kundi magtawanan sa harap pa ng pasyente.

Hindi rin nagvivital signs ang mga probee na ito sa morning. Ang kapal pa ng mukha na humingi ng break sa senior nila.

Ang mga kwento ni ate ay nagsilbing aral sa para akin bagama't hindi pa ako nagtatrabaho. Mula sa kanyang mga kwento, narito ang mga natutunan ko:

Be responsible. I-check ang expiration date ng mga gamot at kung ano pang kahina-hinalang estado nito.
Be courteous. May mga doktor talagang nag-iinarte at hindi maatim na hindi sila napansin.
Follow protocols. Enough said.
Fight for your rights. Huwag paaapi. Kapag may katuwiran, ipaglaban mo! But assertiveness doesn't have to include rudeness.
Never forget about the ethics. Bawal na nga ang tamad, lalo naman ang bastos.
Chart every thing briefly but concisely. And this is one heck of an importance! Ngayon ko lang fully narealize ang mga itinuro ng mga CI ko. The chart is a double-edged sword. Wield it properly and it will keep you safe. Leave it to rust, it's defenses will fail.

I can't wait to put every thing I learned in to practice!

Padrino Style

2009-02-28T01:27:00.000-08:00

What a dull Saturday. My mom got a text message from my tita instructing me to submit two copies of my rather impressive resume and two xerox copies of all my credentials to her via LBC. Finally! She's willing to back me up!

I've been wanting to ask her to help me with my applications. Nahihiya lang ako kasi hindi naman kami close na close sa isa't isa. Let's just say that she knows a lot about the elites and know some of them personally. I sure hope she could get me through this endless lingering.

First time kong magpadala sa LBC. In fact, first time ko lang magpadala!

Anyway, hindi lang naman si tita ang padrino ko. My sister is a staff nurse in a nearby hospital. She happens to have a friend who's tita is the nursing director in a known hospital near Greenhills. Me and my friend were able to take the initial exams way ahead our supposed-to-be schedule. And now, we're still waiting for the results.

Maaaring magtataka kayo kung bakit hindi na lang ako nag-apply sa ospital na pinapasukan ni ate. Pinagbabawalan kasi ang magkapatid sa institusyong iyon. Kaya pala kahit tatlong beses na akong nagpasa ng requirements ay hindi man lang ako nakatanggap ng tawag mula sa kanila. Buti na lang at ipinagpaalam ako ni ate sa chief nurse at sa kabutihang palad ay pumayag naman. Yun nga lang, matatagalan pa bago ako magsimula sa kanila magtraining.

One of my my mom's friend has two sons who happens to be both surgeons. One of them is a cardiologist who works in a public specialty hospital and also in this one famous hospital. Kinapalan na ng nanay ko ang mukha niya at humingi ng tulong sa kaibigan niya na ipasok ako sa kung saan man sa dalawang ospital na iyon. Bagama't nakahihiya (sa aking pananaw), binigay na lang niya ang resume ko sa kaibigan niyang iyon. Up until now, I'm still waiting.

Disclaimer lang. Hindi ko po ipinagmamalaki ang mga backer na ito. In fact, hindi rin po ako sang-ayon sa ganitong paraan ng pag-aapply. Kung inyong iisipin, wala itong pagkakaiba sa under-the-table na paraang pampabilis ng proseso. Hindi mo lang kakilala at may pera lang kasama. It is really unjust and unfair. Ngunit hindi ko rin naman mapigilang tanggihan ang tulong ngayon pa't taghirap ang paghahanap ng trabaho. Practical yet wrong. Siguro naman ay maiintindihan ninyo.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Are You a Horoscope Fanatic?

2009-02-27T18:56:00.000-08:00

Then you must read this!

My Great Application at MMC

2009-02-27T03:43:00.000-08:00

Early this afternoon (I call it early because I usually wake up in the afternoon) , I had a chance to chat with a friend who's a probee at MMC. She told me she saw a stack of resumes in the nursing service department office where they're having an exam. On top of that pile is one of our friend's resume. It just so happen na sabay sabay kami, that common friend and three more others, na nagdrop ng requirements sa drop box nila noong February 11 pa (the first time was last January 8.) I suspect nakasama dun yung amin din.

The question is does that mean that we are going to get the call or are those resumes nothing more but paper junk?

My theory (and hope) is that we (please include mine there) will be getting that call soon.

Yet, there are loop holes in this theory of mine.

First, she saw the resume pile Wednesday. It's Friday and I still have zero calls from them. (Siguro sa sobrang dami inunti-unti na lang nila.)

Second, kapapasok lang ng new batch of probees this month. (Baka naman may panibagong batch silang tinitipon. Tsaka patapos na ang February so baka this March may bago nanamang set.)

Third and last, priority nila siguro mga students nila, mga topnotchers and cum laudes, at siyempre yung may mga backer. (Hindi, hindi yan. Okay naman credentials ko. Ah basta!)

Oh well, wala naman akong magagawa. Sabi nga sakin ni friend nung kachat ko siya, "Huwag ka lang umasa dito (MMC.) Marami pa namang hospitals diyan. Ubusin niyo lahat ng hospitals sa Manila!"

Friend, kung alam mo lang. Choosy din kasi ako sa ospital na pinag-aapplyan ko. Gusto ko rin naman yung may kalidad, and when I say kalidad I mean pangalan. Karamihan kasi ng mga magaganda at malalaking ospital ay may magandang training para sa mga nurses.

By the way, regarding that about the P10,000 training fee ng MMC, yung mga friends ko na probee dun, wala silang binayaran. Ngunit hindi ko sinasabi na wala na silang sinisingil na training fee. Sana wala na nga talaga. Grabe naman, P10,000 din yun. Akala ko pa man din tapos na ang mga gastusin ng mga magulang ko sa pag-aaral ko ng nursing. Wala pa ngang trabaho hinuhuthutan na!

I'm totally against this training fee shit. Exception na lang yung mga specialty hospitals and areas like dialysis centers. Abuso yun, no doubt about it. Sinasamantala nila ang mga ganitong pagkakataon dahil bumabaha ng mga bagong nurses na hirap maghanap ng trabaho at malamang susubok silang mag-aapply sa mga sikat na ospital na naniningil ng training fee na may katakut-takot na halaga. Siyempre, business is a business, no matter how dirty it may be.

Buti na lang at napansin ng ito ng BON.

There is still hope. And even though that one hell of an over used and abused cliché, it is a fact, a very annoying fact, I have to say.

Hey Baby

2009-02-26T04:42:00.000-08:00

Just got home from review. I'm having a pulsating headache because of travel. Baho pa ng katabi ko kanina.

Pagdating ko dito sira nanaman ang PC. So I had to pull off every connection sa likod ng CPU and open the CPU itself to check for anything. I actually don't know anything about computer hardware. It's just that every time I do that routine it fixes the PC. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit ganon parati itong computer na ito. Almost every week nagcacrash ito, ayaw sumindi ng monitor. Hinala ko may ground. Pero hindi ko talaga alam gagawin para matanggal yung ground. Sana naman may makatulong sa problema kong ito, nakakairita na eh.

It's been almost a week now since my one year old nephew stayed at our place. He had to be here since his mother is sick and my brother is busy working.

I never thought that having a one year old in the house would distrupt our every day lives.

It's definitely a stressful and exhausting week for all of us. Grabe, ang likot ng batang ito. Hindi pa marunong maglakad, hagdanan na pinapatulan. The drool made it worse. Halos lahat na ata ng bagay dito basa ng laway! Medyo na-spoil pa ata ni lolo. Umiiyak pag hindi makuha ang gusto. Tapos gusto laging magpabuhat exclusively kay lolo lang. Tapos poo then wee 10 times. Kapag tinipon siguro lahat ng used diaper nito pwede ka nang makabuo ng isang queen size na matress. At mahirap patulugin ang batang ire. Magigising pa ng alas tres ng gabi para mangulit.

Hindi na kami makatulog ng maayos, hindi na kami makakain ng maayos. Panalo ka boy!

Pero sa kabila ng lahat, enjoy pa rin. Gwaping naman itong batang ito. Hindi naman siya iyakin. Bagama't nakahihingal alagaan si baby Red, masaya rin naman.

The Hairtalk

2009-02-25T18:06:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to go for my morning IELTS review but since I wasn't fast enough, I didn't make it. Dalawang linggo na rin akong hindi nakakapagtake ng mock test sa review center na pinapasukan ko at hindi na rin ako sanay gumising ng maaga. Actually, inaantok pa ako.

While I was taking my unusually early morning luke-warm bath, something came into my mind. I was massaging my scalp with shampoo and I realized something that I should have done way long before.

I need a haircut.

But somehow I do enjoy having a long hair. Whenever it dries up, it forms this long, stylish spikes at the nape and ear parts which makes my head look bigger. Basically, I look like a punk rockstar with glasses.

Although I'm liking the new look, I'm getting quite annoyed with it. My head and nape became unusually itchy specially when it's sweating hot. I would always wake up in the morning with hair strands in stuck my mouth. The worst part of it is the bangs. It just keeps on blocking my already imperfect vision! And then I had to run my fingers round the ear to lock the bangs in place which is quite annoying.

I've tried wearing bonnets, head bands and caps but it just makes me look ridiculous! (Except for the cap. I love the cap.)

And so I have decided to have it chopped off soon. Get a clean look, fresh start and a new hope.

You may think that this topic is just dumb and shallow. Well, what can I say? Yes! It is dumb and shallow!

Pilot: This is Where Boredom Brought Me.

2009-02-25T06:47:00.000-08:00

Sa totoo lang hindi normal sa akin ang gumawa ng blog (o magsulat.) Kaya ko lang naman naisipang gumawa ay sa dahil wala na talaga akong magawa.

I'm sure hindi na bago ang kuwentong ito para sa libu-libong new and unemployed nurses at ngayon nadagdagan pa. Kaya't hindi nakapagtataka na in the next few decades half of the population of the country will be nurses.

Mag-iisang taon na akong walang trabaho. Hanggang ngayon ay naghihintay pa rin ako ng tawag sa mga hospitals na pinag-applyan ko mula ng makuha ko ang license ko. Ngunit hindi ko naman sinayang ang halos isang taon na paghihintay. Kumuha ako ng BLS at SFA training sa Red Cross at ng IVT training na ngayon ay may IVT card na ako. But the fact remains: I'm still jobless.

Nasubukan ko na din mag-apply sa call center. Problem is ayoko talaga. Ilang contract signing moments din ang tinalikuran ko dahil hindi ko talaga maatim ang ganoong trabaho. I have nothing against nurses who are working in BPO companies. Good for them, actually.

The competition is indeed tough. Sa dami ba naman namin hindi mo masisising magsala ng todo ang mga hospitals ngayon. It's either matalinong matalino ka, mabilis ka, o kilala mo ang tito ng kaibigan ng nanay mo na doctor ng yaya ng pinsan ng kapitbahay mo na coincidentally ay may katungkulan sa hospital na pinakaaasam-asam mong pasukan.

Naalala ko tuloy nung minsan akong sumubok sa isang specialty hospital sa QC. Hindi ko na naituloy ang pag-apply ko dahil nung pumanhik ako sa 2nd floor kung saan nagaganap ang application, tumambad sakin ang isang malaking dagat ng mga aplikante. Lahat ay naghihintay matawag ang numero nila. Hindi ko na itinuloy ang pag-aapply, magsasara na rin sila para sa mga aplikante.

Nakalululang alalahanin. Hindi ko lubos maisip na kabilang ako sa kanila. Doon ko lang natanto kung gaano kalala ang sitwasyon sa kawalan ng trabaho ng mga bagong RN.

Ngunit hindi naman nawawala ang pag-asang makapagtrabaho abroad. I mean isn't it the very essence of the Filipino studying nursing? Let's be honest. I myself am eyeing on working in the UK. I am pretty sure that most if not all registered nurses, student nurses and aspiring nurses has the same goal as mine. But seriously, I'm not ready to tread foreign lands yet.

Minsan nasagi na rin sa isip ko kung bakit kinuha ko pa ang nursing, na kung hindi nursing ang kinuha ko ay nagtatrabaho na sana ako. But no, I shouldn't be thinking like this. I should be proud to have graduated in a school that excels in nursing education and that I passed the boards. Lahat lahat ng iyon, sadsad-sa-lupang ginapang ko.

Sabi nila patience is a virtue. Well I guess patience is a virtue I never had. But what choice do I have? All I can do for now is wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, and wait. It will come eventually. And as for now, I'll continue doing this blog. Wait, blog, wait, blog. I hope the wait part ends soon.